Snatching Shame

The shame we carry often isn't ours to bear. For years, I carried the heavy weight of my origin story—being born as the product of rape to a mother diagnosed with schizophrenia who struggled without proper treatment or support. God gently instructed me to share this story through my podcast, but fear and shame led me to resist, delay, and complicate what should have been simple obedience.

When I finally began sharing my story, something unexpected happened. Through my own voice, I received the very breakthrough I needed. A casual conversation about "snatching shame" became a divine moment where God showed me He wanted to remove the shame that was never mine to carry. I realized I had been nurturing disappointment my entire life, boxing God in and limiting what I believed He would do for me based on childhood experiences. The shame of my beginnings had created an invisible ceiling over my potential.

What's remarkable is that my delayed obedience still led to transformation. Like Naaman who initially resisted Elisha's simple instructions to dip seven times in the Jordan River, my healing was connected to following divine directions—even when I didn't immediately understand their purpose. A recent dream about butterflies perfectly stacking upon one another revealed how our breakthroughs build upon each other, creating a foundation for complete transformation. Your breakthrough isn't just a single event; it's the beginning of a "stacking anointing" that God has planned for your life. Are you ready to let Him snatch your shame and replace it with real deliverance? What blessing is waiting on the other side of your obedience?

Transcript

Delayed Instructions and Plotting My Way

Speaker 1 0:07

Welcome back to Vision in the Valley. When I started this podcast three and a half years ago, I was already a bit behind my original instructions. God had told me to share my story and his voice was so light and so gentle that I could easily ignore it. And quite honestly, I tried. I considered writing a book on a few occasions, but every time I'd sit down I'd get stuck Putting the words down on a piece of paper just cemented the shame. It was too much for me. For new listeners, I'm referring to my starting life and my mother's pain associated with my start. So when I finally understood that the message was that I should share my story and that it would be through a podcast, I was like okay, no more wasting time, let me get started. Maybe that'll be easier than putting it down in a book format. He specifically said tell your story. And then later I heard the three of you need to tell your stories. So that of course, made me think of my siblings.

Speaker 1 1:19

And with this new found direction and understanding, I began to plan and, dare I say, plot how it would be done. Now I use the word plot very intentionally here I was like okay, lord, okay, okay, I'll tell my story. I'll tell my story, but allow me to do it my way. Allow me to introduce myself. Allow me to introduce myself properly, right, and then I'll go back and then I'll tell them where I come from. I'll tell them that I'm a product of rape. I'll tell them that my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia and that she suffered a long time not treated and not supported. But God, let me tell them about who I am today and that way they'll know that I'm okay and I won't have to have them pitying me, which is a really big deal for me. And he kept reminding me that I needed to tell my story. While I'm plotting and planning, he just kept reminding me that I needed to tell my story, and so eventually I took the path of just doing it my way and he allowed it as he does, right, I gave the proper introductions, I shared my graduation spiritually and in my career, and in last season it was so strong, the message was so strong that I needed to go ahead and just be obedient in that space.

Speaker 1 2:41

As I grew up, others knew more about my life and where I came from. They knew more than I did and in some of those cases that molded and shaped how they would handle me or deal with me later. So, yeah, I was sure that my way was the right way and I wanted listeners to say that if God could do that with her life, then he could definitely do that with mine. But you see, without saying the words, I was trying to help God and control the narrative. This is what I mean by plot. My instructions were simple Tell my story and then later invite my siblings to share their versions and their perspectives, because they matter, but also because they'd be able to bless and inspire groups that I wouldn't be able to reach.

Snatching the Shame Revelation

Speaker 1 3:28

Each of our perspectives speak to a different pain point right, and we all of us need to have our stories told. I complicated things. Now, he got the glory out of my complication and he used it to bless others, that's for sure, but I complicated things nonetheless. What I didn't realize is that he also planned to bless me. The shame of my story delayed me from sharing with you and, in so, delayed me from my seismic shift, blessing that, you know, has honestly changed my life. I fondly say that he took the roof off. There is no ceiling, and if you haven't listened already, please check out the last season, specifically episodes six and seven.

Speaker 1 4:11

I was talking with a new friend. In fact, she's the one responsible for my hairstyle in the first four episodes of Fall in Love with your Purpose series, hey, catherine. So again, she's a new friend, but what I've learned about her is that she drops nuggets without even realizing it Right. And this particular time she was talking about snatching the shame. She meant removing the negative connotations around working jobs like food delivery. It's legal and it helps to provide for your families. There's nothing wrong with that. There's no shame in it. But we were talking about particularly migrants that are forced to work these jobs because they're unable to get other jobs and because of this, these jobs have a negative connotations attached to them. When she dropped the words snatch the shame, it rested on me heavy. I can only imagine the look on my face when she said it.

Speaker 1 5:08

You see, in that moment I heard God telling me that he wanted to snatch my shame. Firstly, there was no reason for my shame. What happened to my mother was a shameful act, but there is no shame on her and or on her product, which was me. I really break it down more in the other episodes earlier that I mentioned. But secondly, god would use my story to empower and release someone else. And lastly, he wanted to bless me. Can I just tell you it wasn't until I heard the words I'd written in episode seven, trusted Poor, that I received the complete breakthrough.

Breaking Through the Ceiling of Disappointment

Speaker 1 5:46

That's when I learned that I've been feeding and nurturing disappointment, that because of disappointment in my childhood I was left feeling robbed of my future, and although I'd seen many, many victories, I had begun to box God in and limit him to what I believe he would do through me and for me and how far I'd go. It wasn't about potential. I just settled on the fact that disappointment would always control my life and that it would always be the outcome and that ceiling was very, very real. To me, the only way to avoid feeling disappointed was to not think about anything too big, nothing beyond what I could make happen myself. I learned this at eight years old and I continued that mindset all through my life. I've always been pleasant, I've always been positive, but it's always been with limits. Now, this is when it comes to my life, not what I believe God would do for you, but for me. It wasn't until I heard my story that I could see what I've been doing.

Speaker 1 6:51

The shame of not knowing who my father was and the shame of knowing that my mother hated me it was real. The shame of witnessing and experiencing the chaos that was in her head was real. The shame of feeling safe and normal only when she was institutionalized. That didn't happen very often, but when it did happen, that was shameful because I felt free when she was not there. The shame of finally understanding that her hate for me came from a place, that her innocence had been robbed that was real. Now it's funny. You talk about being robbed of potential. She is the poster child of being robbed of potential. And now I had a new source of shame, not the product of rape. That's heavy by itself, of course, but I'm talking about now understanding why seeing my face made her angry, made her want to hit or abuse me. She was 13 and, again, I'm sure, not supported.

Following Divine Instructions Leads to Healing

Speaker 1 7:55

The shame made me delay following instructions to tell my story. So when I heard Catherine say she wanted to snatch the shame from the food delivery workspace, all I could hear was the Holy Spirit connecting the dots for me. Catherine was no longer in my line of sight at that moment. What I didn't understand was that by not following instructions, I literally delayed my breakthrough. Now I've shared with you that I've experienced many breakthroughs, but again, this one was a game changer. He couldn't snatch my shame until I laid it out there, until I revealed it. I looked at the directions he'd given me only as an assignment to pour into you, to motivate you. I didn't know that he'd allow me to minister to myself. Well, in truth, the Holy Spirit was ministering to me, but through my voice. That's bananas. To seal the deal, he gave Catherine specific words to use. So when she said, snatch the shame, baby, snatched is what he did even in that moment is what he did even in that moment. So as I orchestrated, planned and plotted how to deliver this thing, there was a lesson waiting for me on the other side of his instructions, one bigger than any accomplishment, award or promotion I'd ever received. I took or more honestly, I am taking the limits off of God from my life, because I finally see that I had him boxed in and I was also able to identify the root of it all. Today I realize that by following his perfect divine instructions, there was healing on the other side. It reminds me of another lesson about following divine instructions.

Speaker 1 9:50

We learned in 2 Kings 5, 10 through 15 about Elijah right. He instructed the army commander to wash in the Jordan in order to be cured of leprosy Dipped seven times simple. In fact it was too simple and it didn't seem to have any connection to his healing. So the commander was angry. We know that he eventually listened to his servant and followed instructions and was healed. His healing was connected to his obedience. I love how Pastor Hannah teaches this message.

Speaker 1 10:23

We don't know if the activation began with the first dip. All we know is that complete healing came after the seventh dip. In my case, perhaps activation began as soon as I began to write. All I knew was that when I heard my own voice speaking, I could easily identify where my struggle was, and the freedom of it all became so clear. The directions I received were not just an assignment, but freedom was attached to it. So here's something very interesting.

Speaker 1 10:55

Last night I had a dream about butterflies. It's interesting because next episode is about butterflies, but in this dream I saw these beautiful butterflies come home to rest and they were systematically stacking one upon another. Their wings kept fluttering until they were like in sync or in a line with the one right below it and when they aligned they would like snap into place right. I watched this in an amazement, like I was watching my favorite nature channel, and I noticed that the same thing was happening with other butterfly species, like there were two or three different kinds of species I was looking at.

The Butterfly Dream and Stacking Anointing

Speaker 1 11:37

I woke up thinking about how symbolic the butterfly is and the many transitions and life cycles of the butterfly. In fact, I've used them to drive home some messages during this podcast, one before and I'm gonna have another one just next week. So isn't it amazing that God would even give me this to share with you right now? But here's my revelation there are multiple breakthroughs, transitions that will happen and can happen in our lives. Right and alone, they are beautiful, but our God takes every breakthrough into consideration and the first is just the foundation for the next, and so on and so on, that each one is perfectly aligned to build upon the next one, to give us that ultimate butterfly experience. Right, that's the transition of all of those breakthroughs equaling into this better life.

Speaker 1 12:33

It's like we get excited, or at least I should say I. I get excited about the beauty of that one butterfly species and how amazing the details. But again it's like he's saying there's levels to this. It's not just one life cycle of the butterfly, it's not one breakthrough for you. It's those breakthroughs that are built on top of each other, and he's so into you, so into the details, that he wants to give you real freedom and that perfectly aligned graduations and promotions and breakthroughs. They all fit and stack right on top of each other, just like in that dream I had. Now that's a stacking anointing.

Let Him Snatch Your Shame

Speaker 1 13:13

I hope that I'm saying this clear enough that you can envision what I mean when I'm describing the dream and then describing what that butterfly experience, what life and the breakthroughs are really about. So who needs to hear? Let him snatch your shame. Let him use that as fuel to motivate and inspire others. Let that breakthrough be the foundation of an ultimate butterfly experience, because he'll not only snatch the shame, he'll replace it with real deliverance and butterfly wings. So go on and do the things he's requesting. He's got another lesson and another blessing on the other side of those instructions. I can't wait to talk to you soon.